The Ledgend of Zelda: Oracle of Secrets
by Darkforce
Summary: The oracle of secrets is kidnapped, making BAD things happen! And Ralph must save the day!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own The Ledgend of Zelda games or any characters in it, though this plot is mine. So ha!  
  
Chapter 1: Our Story Begins  
  
  
  
(Outside Nayru's house)  
  
  
  
Ralph: dum de dum… *is about to walk in the door, when*  
  
Triforce: *pushes Ralph into a hole*   
  
Ralph:*falls, surrounded by a green light*  
  
"ACCEPT OUR QUEST HERO!"  
  
Ralph: uh…no!  
  
"I SAID ACCEPT OUR QUEST, OR DIE"  
  
Ralph: o_o uh..I mean..I shall undertake your noble quest!  
  
"..yay"  
  
*Ralph Dissaperes*  
  
(Maku Tree, Lybrnna)  
  
Farore: *watches people leave with powerful items and weapons* Ah, a Secrets Oracle's job is never done.  
  
Ralph:*lands in the middle of the room* X____X  
  
Farore: OH MY GOD! A CHEESE SANDWICH IS ON THE FLOOR!  
  
Ralph: x_x  
  
Farore: Oh and Ralph is lying on the ground, having appeared out of nowhere.  
  
???: FWAHAHAHA!  
  
Farore: o_o  
  
Ralph: o_o  
  
*backround turns darker and lightening strikes for no reason*  
  
*outside the maku tree*  
  
Maku Tree: AHH! IT BURNS!  
  
Guy: 0o  
  
*inside the maku tree*  
  
Ralph: *draws sword* Show yourself villan!  
  
???:…..no!  
  
Ralph: 0o  
  
???: *a shadowy figure swoops past and takes Farore*  
  
Farore's voice: AHHH! HELP!  
  
???: FWAHAHA! With the world's secrets gone, the world will turn for the worse!  
  
*pippin's house*  
  
Pippin: Today, I ha-*turns to stone* X_x  
  
*Vasu Jewlers*  
  
Vasu: *petting a ring* my preciousssss... *turns to stone* X_x  
  
*Random store*  
  
*All Nintendo merchandise is replaced by Xboxes*  
  
Darkforce: *drops to knees* NOOOOOO!!!!  
  
*Maku Tree*  
  
Ralph: You FIEND  
  
???: MUAHA! *dissaperes*  
  
Ralph: I'll get you! *walks out of the maku tree*  
  
*outside the Maku Tree*  
  
Maku Tree: OW! RALPH! WHAT HAPPENED?  
  
Ralph: Farore was kidnapped!  
  
Maku Tree: dear GOD, with the exception of Guru Guru, who would stoop to such EVIL?  
  
Ralph: No idea.  
  
Maku Tree: Well, it looks like you will have to go on a enormously long quest even though you could easily stop the villain right now.  
  
Ralph: Fun.  
  
Maku Tree: Indeed, now take this!  
  
*Ralph is hit by a bomb, which explodes*  
  
Ralph: X_x that wasen't very helpful!  
  
Maku Tree: Darn, that was supposed to be for Vasu…uh..I mean…  
  
Ralph: 0o  
  
Maku Tree: Anyway. Take this!  
  
*a seed satchel falls to thr ground*  
  
Ralph: Cool! Is it a sword? A gun? Some bombs perhaps? *looks in the satchel*…or some seeds u_U  
  
Maku Tree: But they're not any see- HEY! DON'T EAT THOSE!  
  
Ralph: mmm….*face goes red* AH! IT TASTES LIKE BURNING!  
  
Maku Tree: Those are ember seeds, they can make small flames u_u  
  
Ralph: *all black* x_x  
  
Maku Tree: u_u *sigh* idiot.  
  
Guy: *comes out of nowhere* Ralph! Come quick!  
  
Ralph: *dusting himself off* What's up?  
  
Guy: There's a duelin transpirein!  
  
Ralph:….o…k….  
  
Maku Tree: Two people are fighting  
  
Ralph: OHHHH! I'M SO THERE! *runs off*  
  
Guy: 0o  
  
Maku Tree: It's gonna be a loooong adventure…  
  
---  
  
Who is fighting? Why is Ralph chosen by the triforce? Find out in Chapter 2! 


	2. The Journey Begins

Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda people & lands & stuff, don't sue me please.  
  
  
  
Chapter 2: The Journey Begins  
  
*in front of the mayor's house*  
  
Troy: Alright Advance Shop Guy, you charge 100 rupees for useless things! Your evil ends now!  
  
Advance Shop Guy: Curses! Somebody has discovered my evil plot!  
  
Troy: BOMBCHU! *chucks a bombchu at the Advance Shop Guy*  
  
(BOOOOM)  
  
Advance Shop Guy: OWOWOWOWOW! *flies off*  
  
*meanwhile, outside the maku tree gate*  
  
Ralph: I wonder where that fight is?  
  
Advance Shop Guy: *lands on Ralph*  
  
Ralph: OW! *throws the ASG off him, then points his sword at him* Hey! You're the guy who overprices useless things!  
  
Advance Shop Guy: Um…..if you let me go, I'll give you something!  
  
Ralph: hmmmm….OK!  
  
Advance Shop Guy: *throws a gasha seed at Ralph and runs away*  
  
Ralph: AHH! *is about to get hit by the gasha seed, when he suddenly is holding it in a pose*  
  
Ralph: 0o  
  
Da da da duuuun!  
  
Ralph: The heck was that? And where did that fanfare come from?...weird  
  
*everything turns black*  
  
Ralph: 0o  
  
*branches fall by, all of which hitting Ralph in the head*  
  
Ralph: owowowowow!  
  
Maku Tree's Voice: Ralph! I sense a essence in a dungeon under a random bush!  
  
Ralph: Since when was I looking for essences?  
  
Maku Tree: Well…um…you just are! You need them to complete your pointless quest!  
  
Ralph: Oh joy.  
  
Maku Tree: The random bush should be in the area outside of town, go!  
  
*colour returns*  
  
Ralph: Alright, I'm off! *Ralph takes one step outside of town, and a witch hits her full speed causing them both to drop stuff* X___x why me?  
  
Witch: Argh! Look what you did!  
  
Ralph: What I did?  
  
Witch: Uh…yeah!   
  
Ralph: u_u  
  
Witch: How dare you hit Maple! The great witch! Now I'll take your stuff too!  
  
Ralph: While you were talking, I already grabbed everything.  
  
Maple: ___  
  
Ralph: Life sucks doesn't it? Well I must be off! *runs away*  
  
Maple: ; *flies away*  
  
*meanwhile*  
  
????: Farore! You are in my captivity now!  
  
Farore: Yay.  
  
????: And for your labour…you must..PAINT MY SHEEP!  
  
Farore: o___o NOOO!  
  
????: FWAHAHA!  
  
Random Minion: ????!  
  
????: What is it minion?  
  
Random Minion: A hero named Balph or something is out to stop you!  
  
????: Oh no! I must send out my weakest minions first then steadily send out stronger ones!  
  
Farore: idiots…idiots…  
  
????: What was that?  
  
Farore: um..nothing! nothing at all!  
  
Random Minion: Pie!  
  
????: u_u  
  
*back to Ralph*  
  
Ralph: *cuts down his 10000th bush*…must…find dungeon!  
  
Bush: *runs*  
  
Ralph: 0_o chases the bush* DIE!  
  
Bush: NOOO! *trips, then is viciously cut to pieces by Ralph's sword*  
  
Ralph: Hey! The dungeon was under this moving bush! Who woulda guessed!?  
  
Dungeon: WOO! Don't enter me! I'm..uh..spooky!  
  
Ralph: riiight.  
  
Dungeon: Um..let's make a deal..if you don't enter me..i'll give you a penny!  
  
Ralph:…. *stabs the ground*  
  
Dungeon: OW!  
  
Ralph: *jumps into the dungeon*  
  
  
  
--  
  
What dangers will Ralph face? Find out in chapter 3!  
  
. 


End file.
